Catfish: Tinder man-in-the-middle

You're clearly a fake account who's going to send me a link to a dodgy site

Haha I'm clearly not lol and I didn't send u anything haha but if your up for it lol

You're real! Haha sorry to tell you this but you swiped the wrong way on my profile 😘

Why wouldn't I be lol did I actually send u a link to a doggy site lol and why would u say that then hmm ??

No you didn't send me anything! I just assumed because of your hotness that you weren't real... I'm still wandering what the catch is here

Ow haha I was gunna say lol says u how do I know your not a fake profile with your hottness then because u are fine!!!!😍😍

Most of those pics of me are 2 years old at least haha. Don't use fb... Hopefully I'm like a fine wine and have got better with age. Or maybe I do just want to harvest your organs 😳

Ow really well how will I ever know then hmm what do u mean by harvest my organs coz u might just have a chance x

When I say harvest your organs I mean I want your heart 😘😍

Aww that's really sweet my hearts there for the taking

Where u from ?

█████████, grand says you live ages away!

Ow really where abouts ? And no not that far I live In ██████ but used to live in ███████ █████████ plus I went to college in █████████ x

Live in ██████, village 20 mins away from █████. It's where I went to college too! And work... Which college you go to?

Ow not really sure where that is I went to crc and studied professional cookery and I'm a chef what to do you ? Xx

Currently doing an apprenticeship as an accountant, studying at ███! So I sort out the food budget, you do the cooking. Sorted

Haha no way that's pretty cool I don't really need. Budget I sort of just get what I want lol but I'm really really bad with money so mAybe u can come in handy xxx

Well I'm shit in the kitchen, watching me try to cook is so awkward haha! Whats your signature dish? Mine would be maccoroni cheese, but of course I follow the instructions on the jar 😜

Haha Aww that's alright tbh most chefs don't have one but I'm a desserts person maybe a nice chocolate brownie or a cheesecake but Obvs not as simple as that x

You had me at brownies

Do you own your own restaurant chain yet? 😝

Haha that was easy and no obviously not lol

So why do u find me so attractive then lol

Sorry Jamie. Fishing for compliments? Naughty. It's probably got something to do with those long legs 😍

Well yeah kind of and that's got to be taking the piss lol

No I might be 99% sarcasm but that was part of the 1% I'm wandering why someone like you has to use this app! I'm also curious how tall you are haha

Ow I like a girl with a good sence of humour haha I'm using this as quite clearly because I'm single and have been for a while lol and yeah I'm only 5ft 5 - 6 on a good day haha wbu ? X

Did you just call me a girl? 😘😳 maybe that's where you're going wrong. Wbu? As in how tall am I? 5ft 9/10 maybe. Or wbu as In why am I on this app? My ex ditched me by text so I figured it can't get any worse 👍

Ok sorry I like a women lol I'm sure I can deal with that it can't get any worse your talking to me right x

So why would someone like u go after someone like me then ?

Define 'someone like me' haha And it's because you promised me brownies, enough said 👌

Well just an average person your beautiful and older it normally doesn't work like that haha and I never promised u anything yet x

You're not average, everyone unique in their own special little way (yes that does sound patronising) I can't believe you called me beautiful haha what is wrong with you! 🙈 age means nothing as long as it's legal 👍 + I look 12

Aww that's sweet well i can only really see one picture of u and you look pretty that's true I suppose what's your last name 😍 x

Facebook isn't kind to me with photos, slim pickings! Haha Are you wanting to stalk me on there!? 🙉🙈🙊

Yes

Haha no I just wanna have more of a variety tbh u have seen loads of pics of me

I'll tell you if you promise me brownies 😎

Ok done x

It's a ██████ related surname. It's ████ and █████ ████ ███ ███. It's rhymes with ██. I hope you're too dumb to figure that out and see my awful picture 😘

Pictures being plural!

████ ? Xx

Haha can't even find u lol xx

Yes that's the one! Profile picture is the 4th one I got on here... Good luck haha bed time! Night

Wait wait wait

U only have 3 pictures on here

I can't find u send me an invite xx

I got 6 on here! And how can I find you when I don't know your last name eh?

Sorry to say u don't haha and u don't need it shanley is a very unique name lol

All I can find is Americans with your name, told you you weren't real 😳😘

That's so a lie haha █████████

I swear you said shanley a second ago, I'm confused

Which isn't hard to do haha

Shanley's my first name hahaga

Says you're called Anette!? Lol whaaat

Wtf u talking about

Shanley █████████ u melt

Tinder says you're called anette... What's my name? And what do I look like? Ahha this app is toying with us

What are u on lol

No it doesn't u crazy bastard

What's my name? And what are my pictures lol?

Albertina haha and u jumping in a lake with a mate and u pouting in a selfie haha I knew u were fake hahaha

Yeah I'm not pouting... Silly app

Well I dunno what to say tbh I don't know what u look like anymore haha

And I don't know what you look like or even if you're male or female ;) This is pretty funny but so strange

Wtf I'm so confused haha

Try and change your pic or something tell me when you've done it and I'll see if it's changed

This is the first time this has done this though and I have over 100 matches lol

I did think it was strange when you called me beautiful 👌

Unless you just saw me on facebook and wanted to let me down gently by pretending you're someone else ;)

Well u never know I might still think the same way lol and na coz I don't know who u are haha what's your name then ? X

I think you think I'm a girl ;)

I think I did think u were a girl haha

So are u not then ??

Haha nooo looking back you called me pretty too, I clearly wasn't paying enough attention to detail

I'm an ugly fucker called Luke :) and this has been fun haha

Haha that's jokes I've never been scammed on here before I've enjoyed it to nice one mate hahaha

#lad

So you don't want me to be your pretty boyfriend 🙈 so gutted

Ahh mate I would but I'm not gay so wouldn't really work haha omg that's so jokes

I might give it ago have a bit of fun

By that I mean winding people up not being gay hahaha

Hang on you're a guy too!?

I assumed were a lesbian haha

What do u mean I thought u were safe Aswell turns out your a bellend

Of corse I'm a fucking guy

U cunt

Haaa you angry midget. Don't fancy a bum then?

Fuck off Luke prick

Bye now

Bye pretty anette. Hello homophobic cocky little wanker. Nice flirting with you baby cakes 😘