Catfish: Tinder man-in-the-middle

If you're not a fake it's a fucking miracle

Haha really? Thats very sweet of yoh :)

*you

Oh damn, miracles do come true. Well, hello I guess 😁

Are you really 2km away?😂😂

Haha i live in █████████████. Im not used to such compliments, careful i might blush ;)

Where are you now?😂 n'aw. You're so cute

Im at my friends house extremely hungover and trying to keep my eyes open. How about you missy? :)

Hahaa, sounds awesome, currently in my room cleaning. #wench, come for a bacon hangover cure?😂

Where do you live? Haha, also i doubt im much in the right attire and state. I havent slept in over 24 hours and im still wearing last nights clothes haha. 😜

You know where the college is? It's close to there. Yeah, and? That's hardly an issue, it's just a late walk of shame 😂 we'll go for lunch yeah?

█████ road? And sweetheart my friends house is in ████████, thats quite a walk haha. But i would very much like to have lunch with you, but not today, how about Monday?

█████ road isn't far from me. Can get there in about 10 minutes walking. Why not today? It may have to be a late lunch if it's on Monday as I have training until 2pm & don't fancy going for lunch in my sweaty kit. Or would you like to go out tonight? #party 😂

Trust me if you knew what kinda night ive had and how im feeling right now you'd understand im going nowhere but bed cuddling a bottle of jack tonight haha. And im back at work tomorrow untill monday. And a late lunch sounds just fine missy. And i cant meet you anytime soon today as im in ████████ which is just past ███████ so its ages away. But i promise monday is a date. My numbers 09████████. You can text me until then if you like. Also, what makes you so interested in me? :P

Wait. Your number starts in 09. Wtf.

Now I don't trust this at allllll

Sorry i meant 07█████████, im hungover forgive me haha

Righttttt. iMessage?😂

My friend said you can come here if you like :)

When?

Yeah imessage me. And i dont know you'll get here, its like an hours drive :/

What the hell are you on about a hours drive? Thought you said █████ street or something?😂

Besides I have training at 4-5 then 6:30-8 & then I'm going out. So I doubt I'm doing anything today

No haha when you said you live by the college i asked if you meant the █████ ████ college. Im nowhere near ██████████████ right now, im at my friends place in ████████ which is just past ███████.

Waaaaait a minute. I'm in ████████████

How are you 2km away & in ████████? Whaaaaaat

Erm wheres █████████████? And i dont live in ████████ i live in █████████████, im just in ████████ at this current moment

Ahahaha. ████████████ is near █████████. Ah well tinder done fucked up.

*dammit, she was a cute one*

Yeah but youre cool, we can still work something out :)

I guess. What's your Friday like?

& thank you for calling me cool 😎

Well youre also pretty as fuck. And unfortunately im working friday. I wont be free until monday :/

I don't trust this. I feel I'm going to be catfished

Pretty isn't associated with guys.

So no

Haha add me on facebook sweetheart and you'll see im not fake :) my names Marty ████

When you add me i'll send you a picture of me right now holding a card bearing your name yeah?

Marty ████? What the fuck. What's my name?

Emmie right?

You havent told me your last name

Nope, tinder has massively fucked up.

█████. My name is Ben you fool

I knew I was being catfished

Tinder has fucked up

According to your profile, your names Erlene?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😩😂

Youre kidding right? Erlene? What the fuck? What does my profile picture look like? And your not a girl with red hair?

Sorry to disappoint bro

Yeah, tinder done fucked up.

On massive proportions.

I'm doing a 'god' pose in my profile.

So no, it's not Emmie.

This is hilarious. Sorry to disappoint

So what the fuck, its telling people im a chick?

A blonde, short haired 22 year old chick

Who by all accounts looked pretty good. Until I found out she had a penis & was named Marty

Youre quite funny man, but thats fucked up haha. Anyway see ya man, better luck with the next one

I don't use it for hook ups unless their in walking distance. This app has fucked up since the update ahah